Vigilance Virtuoso Gifts

"Office of quality assurance"

A security guard is being filmed by a camera.

'Officer, I think that young man is trying to steal that old lady'

Neighborhood Watch Anti-Violence Meeting. Be There or Else.

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

We Value Your Privacy (Actually, we value it at around $20 a pop for every organization we sell it to).

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

The Price of Freedom is Eternal Vigilance.

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Oculist.

Dr. BR Smith Optician.

"Our drone pilots are out of touch with reality. Make them watch some John Wayne movies."

"This one is for hacking into our enemy's hacks."

"Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I'd like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart."