Video Vicar Gifts

'Using your workout video as a coaster for that huge dessert tells me you're off your diet.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Night-time halo

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Early Piety

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"I, TikTok."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Thou Shalt Not!

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."