Video Clip Communicator Pillows

'He's not seeing anyone in person. He prefers that you upload a video clip to him. Here's his email address.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Textin’"

"You don't whisper anymore."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

Spam in Hell.

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob