Vice Manager Gifts

It's SkinPatchMan!

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

Cut Price

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

Create some buzz!

The Rubber Ball Company

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Bullseye!

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'