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Vets in practise

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Agility God

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

Cat Show

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Fill it up!"

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"That's just not the real me."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'The hills are alive with the sound of moo-sick!'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

'Peter it appears that you have an STD known as 'cottontail'.'

The Cattle show Week.

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

Committee On Feline Healthcare