Veterinary Practice Pillows

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

Welcome to the Society of Veterinarians Who Have Spayed Tomcats!'

'They didn't cover THIS in our restraint course at Cornell!'

'Oh, I've been in practice so long now that I've learned to spot the nasty ones...'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Do you have any calls out this way the next day or two?'

'You realize, of course, that although I do many soundness exams, my experience with dromedaries is relatively limited?"

Elephants Trunks.

'I didn't hear you drive up, Doc.'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Haute Suture

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Fill it up!"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."