Veterinary Practice Pillows

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

Welcome to the Society of Veterinarians Who Have Spayed Tomcats!'

'They didn't cover THIS in our restraint course at Cornell!'

'Oh, I've been in practice so long now that I've learned to spot the nasty ones...'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Do you have any calls out this way the next day or two?'

'You realize, of course, that although I do many soundness exams, my experience with dromedaries is relatively limited?"

Elephants Trunks.

'I didn't hear you drive up, Doc.'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Haute Suture

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Fill it up!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'