Veterinary Practice Manager Pillows

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Haute Suture

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Fill it up!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'