Veterinary Practice Manager Pillows

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Haute Suture

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Fill it up!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'