Vet Jokes Fan Gifts

What a pity they invited someone allergic to cats.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Polly txt speak

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

The rain has been falling for so long the animals are pairing up and forming queues by the boat! It must be time for the Crick boat show...

"Well! I'm glad to hear you're finally using that tread mill!"

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"My pets found out they were adopted."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

"Now turn your head and bark."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'