Vet Assistant Pillows

'This is one sick dog.'

"I guess you're already aware that your dog's rabies is highly infectious?"

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday.'

"Okay Rolf, if you could just tie him down for me, while I get the anaesthetic"

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

'Yes, I've removed lots of fish-hooks from dogs...'

I can't afford to pay for Fluffy's spay...

Two bathroom doors at Vet's office -they read 'male litter box' and 'female litter box'.

'Next please.'

'I think I see what is causing that ringing in his ears.'

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

"No wonder he has an attitude. He has a microchip on his shoulder."

'Vet clinic? I'd like to make an appointment for a physical. It's been seven years.'

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"Meow!"

"Let me guess - testicles?"

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

'Now, just repeat the injections three times daily and avoid any stress.'

"Yep, that's water retention."

Boa Box

'Wait...Sir...It's customary to pay for services when rendered!'

"I think, perhaps, he wants a second opinion!"

Run Away Vet Truck

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

Mouse in vets escaping and getting caught in mousetrap.

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Well, I'll tell you about ear trims...

"No wonder it's itchy: You have a whole flea circus on your back!"

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

". . .What's this world coming to?"