Venture Capital Mugs

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"So what do you really think of my business plan?"

"Sure, you have to spend money to make money, but first you have to steal money."

Profit

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

I'm a self-made man!

Go! Means NOW!

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'If we all work together, shoulder to shoulder, we can turn this company around a full 360 degrees.'

Five Ideas For Success: Always finish what you. . .

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

S.S.dot.com

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

"Money is life's report card."

'You idiot! I told you we should have learned to fly first before jumping out of that thing!'

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

"The bottom line here, gentlemen, is that, no matter what we do, we're going to wind up getting wet."

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

Pig's Human Bank

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"