Vehicular Safety T-Shirts

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Please Drove Carefully.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Dog Crossing

Touring Cyclist

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'Your Grounded!'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Computer Controlled Car

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Bedroom Traffic Control

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

Nice park. . .

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

One Way - Yield

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Attention: Speed Troughs

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

Vehicles waiting at a crossing for a tradesman's spirit level to pass.