Veggie Rancher Gifts

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'That chap really knows his onions!'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

“Children hate me.”

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

"If dinner was a reality TV show broccoli would be the first thing I'd vote off!!"

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

The vegan hunter