Veggie Planner Pillows

Dreaming of Spring (Onslaught of the garden catalogs).

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Bad gifts

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

He was forced to take early retirement.

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

Me, Alice and God