Vegetarian Adventurers T-Shirts

'There's nothing in gay non smoking... but I can give you an aisle seat in vegetarian bikers.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Before/After

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Holiday Supplies

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

Platter confusion.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

International House of Excrement

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

Decaying corpse

'New Barbeque.'