Vegetable Wordsmith Gifts

Larry's Literary Market.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

The Proust of Twitter

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Mother Goose's Haiku

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

Shakespeare Ave

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

A Poet

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."

Tom Stoppard

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"I'm the writer-in-residence."