Vegetable Puns Gifts

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Shuck me.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

Shakespeare's Earliest Influences. To bean or not to bean ….. Ye Olde Limas. Jolly Goode Cukes. The Bees Peas.

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"A little lamb please."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Octopi a la mode.

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Pickled beets.

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

Flytrap nerd.

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"I'm going to start with the antipasta."

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"Guac-A-Mole"

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

Human Fingers: The Fish World's version of Fish Fingers.

Gastrique Bypass

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

What on earth are you doing? Well, you wanted battered sausage, didn't you?

Eye Bank.

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'