Vegetable Defender Pillows

"I don't really hate vegetables...but they're my last line of defense before liver and onions."

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

Farmer fighting off snail

'There's a little left in the garden. Do you have a bunny bag?'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Scarecrows guarding a field

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

Pumpkin Time!

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"You said we were going to break bread, Mom. These are vegetables."

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

"Sealed for your diets protection."

Hell's Allotment Holders.

Planet earth was again safe, Lenny a true hero and his brussel sprouts, for one, not wasted!!'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

'The infrared reading is negative: It's only a scarecrow... Let's go...'

'Tomato Surprise. Bean Surprise. Carrot Surprise. Why are you always so surprised when my garden produces?'

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

"Don't even think about it!"

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Garden Pest Solutions

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

"You've just raided your last patch!"

'...and even though the rest of us hate brussel sprouts, we thank you Lord for the food you've provided for us.'

"You claim you're not cheating on your diet, Mr. Parker. But how do you explain this recent weight gain?"

Animal rights and vegetable rights protesters battle each other.

'I've decided to help you diet. I had invisible fencing installed around the refrigerator.'

"Have you SEEN what an angry slug can do to a delphinium?"

"Hmmm, not sure I trust that kale."

Organic Broccoli. . . Pimped Out Broccoli.

"Broccoli? It's not fair that I have to eat something I can't even spell."

"Dad - there's some people at the door from 'The Sprout Defence League...?'"