Vegas Visitor Pillows

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

Gambler's Luck

'Okay, so I lost $1,000 at the penny slots. It's not like I lost it at a $5 machine.'

Zombie standup

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

Iceland volcano

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

Too Much?

Mrs Amblewll wished they'd hurry up and repair the park toilets.

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

'Don't' Feed the Animals' sign with a saw in it.

'It's a dirty lie... I only drink to be sociable!'

"I can't even deal."

Hercules Poirot meets Pierrot

"Gregorio, are you sure we're not rushing into things?"

A woman breaks a loaf of bread into breadcrumbs for the ducks.

"So, does this mean that what happens in Vegas never should've even happened in the first place?"

Old lady feeding birds at a dining table in park.

Planning for retirement in a casino.

An affair to remember.

Twelvis