Vegas Fun-seekers Gifts

'I thought since we can't have the Queen...'

Zombie standup

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

Boxing Snowmen.

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

Looks like another hostile takeover...

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

Too Much?

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

"I can't even deal."

"Gregorio, are you sure we're not rushing into things?"

'We're giving the market three 'reallys', today.'

Planning for retirement in a casino.

The groundhog, unable to see his shadow, goes in for a cataract operation.

Twelvis

"Apparently shares can go down, as well as plunging into meltdown and spinning into free-fall."