Vegan Victor Pillows

Queen of Quinoa

"States of tofu"

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

Give quiche a chance!

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Just to be clear, this is a hike, not a ‘walk.’"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Pumpkin Time!

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

Your life is in great danger...

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"How almond milk is made"

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

I guess I outta take science classes if I'm really going to help the environment. What for? You want to be a famous actress

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

Another Cultured Meat Experiment Ends in Failure.

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"Alrighty, we've got three Tofu Pad Thais, four Green Curry Lunch Specials, side of Veggie Dumplings, and three Summer Rolls with Peanut Dipping Sauce."

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"