Vegan Magician Gifts

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"States of tofu"

Domestic Goddess.

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"Two vegans, please."

The Witches Discover The Wok

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

Culinary surgery.

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'After you with the camouflage.'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"It's a little bland, because I microwaved it."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

The vegan hunter

"Cheer up! There's a magic ingredient that makes it easy to eat vegetables...CHEESE SAUCE!"

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'