Vegan Magic Maker Pillows

"This batch of Witch's Brew is vegan. The eye of newt and toe of frog are plant-based."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Wait a minute, is that toad I taste? I told you I've gone vegan, Cynthia!"

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. VII

'Maybe next time. I never kiss on a first date.'

I thought this year we'd do soup and salad.

"Parting the clutter in your room isn't the same as cleaning it, Moses."

"Something pickled this way comes!"

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

'Not bad, Moses, but the Red sea is blue, not red.'

Vegan Voldemort

"Is there a vegan substitute for eye of newt?"

"Twice a week I eat nothing but fruit."

"I can see this prepared as quenelles de maquereau with a nice rémoulade and some herbed zucchini spirals."

'It's true. Since I've been using this organic stuff, my potions are far more effective.'

"Santa, sorry for the soy milk and vegan fig bars - Caleb."

Protesting Asparagus

"Gingerbread? What gingerbread?"

'Cashier' 'Cashier' 'Miracle worker'