Vegan Critic Gifts

"It makes me feel sort of... guilty!"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Two vegans, please."

"Is there a vegan option?"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

The vegan hunter

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

'Now you tell me you've gone vegan?'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

Too Much SOY

Cybervegan Caf

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe