Veg Plot Planners Gifts

He was forced to take early retirement.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

Andre Gide.

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Joyce Carol Oates

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

"Better than Chekhov"

He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel...now he only has the other 468 to write.

'It's not enough that you want to publish it, you must beg for it.'

"The government is comin' to take away our freedom. Barricade yourself inside, Marge, and stay there 'til I tell you."

"One day son, all this will be yours."

"They say to get over writer's block, you should write what you know about. So...I wrote about writer's block."

Writer’s Corner

I've got lettuce, snow peas and radishes planted. Seeds. Next I'll plant beans, zucchini, leeks and chard. Plus tomatoes and basil. A lot of work for stuff no one wants to eat.

"Legally, we're a farm."

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

A Gardener's Calendar: January - This is the most convenient time to work out your plans for the year.

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

"We've got a real feisty one here. We caught it trying to cross the stream behind the store."

"If you don't have time to take care of everything, Sir, Mom's vegetable garden would be a good thing to let go."

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

Dreaming of Spring (Onslaught of the garden catalogs).

'My garden won't feed the family, but it'll feed a pretty nice rabbit stew.'

Here's the plan: we ask for a pet bunny this Easter, then it eats all the broccoli in in the garden this summer.

Gardeners with Different Sized Greenhouse.

"He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel... Now he's just got 436 that come before it to write!"

"Still trying to grow mushy peas,Alf?"

"He finds this time of year very stressful."

'You write fiction novels as a side line, don't you?'