Veg Plot Planners T-Shirts

He was forced to take early retirement.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

Andre Gide.

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

After months of writer's block, the great man's biographer finally decides how to end the book.

'It's not enough that you want to publish it, you must beg for it.'

He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel...now he only has the other 468 to write.

"Better than Chekhov"

"The government is comin' to take away our freedom. Barricade yourself inside, Marge, and stay there 'til I tell you."

"They say to get over writer's block, you should write what you know about. So...I wrote about writer's block."

"One day son, all this will be yours."

Writer’s Corner

"Legally, we're a farm."

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

"We've got a real feisty one here. We caught it trying to cross the stream behind the store."

"If you don't have time to take care of everything, Sir, Mom's vegetable garden would be a good thing to let go."

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

A Gardener's Calendar: January - This is the most convenient time to work out your plans for the year.

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

'My garden won't feed the family, but it'll feed a pretty nice rabbit stew.'

Dreaming of Spring (Onslaught of the garden catalogs).

"Still trying to grow mushy peas,Alf?"

"He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel... Now he's just got 436 that come before it to write!"

'I'm done with my novel.'

'You write fiction novels as a side line, don't you?'

Here's the plan: we ask for a pet bunny this Easter, then it eats all the broccoli in in the garden this summer.

"The key to a good story is to give the protagonist lots of challenges."

Aspiring author