Veg Patch Hero Gifts

Un-scary Scarecrow

Prize vegetables.

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

You will always find a spot to garden

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

"Potatoes...betroot...carrots...fracking..."

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

'Tomato Surprise. Bean Surprise. Carrot Surprise. Why are you always so surprised when my garden produces?'

"Leftover seeds."

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

The Confused Gardener

'Are these carrots organically grown?'

'...He's eating real meat chunks in a rich, beefy gravy - I'm eating sprout salad and bean curd.'

Weod Monath (Weed Month) The Saxon word for the month of August.

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

'I was hoping it was going to be bigger, but I'm still new to gardening.'

The cost of home grown vegetables

'You're a real cabbage patch doll! Lettuce introduce ourselves!'

"I told you it was a waste of time, it's a vegan home."

Man labouring over vegetable patch

'I never used to like brussels sprouts, but they're growing on me!'

Gardening for Beginners - 'Hot water or cold?'

'So we're organically grown. That's gonna make us feel better about being cut up into salad?'