Vanity Woes T-Shirts

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

TV-Mirror.

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

'I know how you feel.'