Vanity Woes Pillows

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

TV-Mirror.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."