Vanity Philosopher T-Shirts

"I agree with you on everything."

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'I think that I'm beginning to lose my mane.'

'Your sister's wearing well for her age. I hope I look that good when I'm ten.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

The Selfie of Dorian Gray

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

TV-Mirror.

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Does my brain look big in this?"

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Toupee in a tin.

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

The caricature of Dorian Gray

'I know how you feel.'

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."