Vampire Fiction Reader Pillows

"My doctor put me on a health diet."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Vlad the Impala

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'... And this is my cellar.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

A vampire in a canoe.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

He looks so natural lying there...

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Get on with it!

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"I know. But I think I can change him."

How to fight a vampire snowman

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Fancy a pint?

Vampire on a plane

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"