Reading About Vampires Pillows

'Don't worry. I'm not a vampire. I just haven't washed my hair in a while. And I've been turning up my collar since high school.'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Vlad the Impala

'... And this is my cellar.'

Vlad the Inhaler

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

He looks so natural lying there...

Astral Projection

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Get on with it!

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

Date Night

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"....and hold the garlic."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"