Reading About Vampires Mugs

'Don't worry. I'm not a vampire. I just haven't washed my hair in a while. And I've been turning up my collar since high school.'

Vlad the Impala

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'... And this is my cellar.'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Vlad the Inhaler

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

He looks so natural lying there...

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Get on with it!

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

Date Night

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"....and hold the garlic."

Vampire on a plane

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'