Vacation Video Critic Gifts

Excess Baggage: Getting a souvenir you never asked for is as bad as having to watch videos of someone's vacation.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked."

Going to Sea.

School holidays

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"I think we should give day camp a chance, Adrian. Let's not become prisoners of our own dogma."

"So did you folks have a nice vacation?"

The New Normal

"Dad can we stop pushing this backdrop and go on a real vacation?"

'We're being offered a two-week vacation on a tropical island.'

"... But, Derek. The travel agent told us not to drink the water!"

'This should guarantee our friends won't go to sleep watching videos of this trip.'

Taylor Swift caricature

A captive bear is very compliant for a photo opportunity.

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'There's nothing to beat a real seaside holiday is there?'

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

"Have you tried Trip Advisor?"

Schematic Map of Seaside Heights Town Beach, Summer, 2007

'For heaven's sake! We're only going to the caravan for a week!'

The beach was lovely - but you had to go through Hell to get there.

"We're after a remote, unexplored, 'off-the-beaten-track' location with decent wi-fi?"

'I like to watch my wedding video running backwards so I can walk out of church a free man!'

Branch No3 is free sir: It will be $10...

"We want a good selection of shops,restaurants and activities, but no tourists!"

'...Isn't keeping fit fun...?'

"It is so sad to see what's become of him! Can you believe that used to be Pizza Rat."

'There must be some place around here where I can use my charge cards!'

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

British Governments answer to all problems - Go on holiday!

Advert for 'dividend tax cut' spending spree in Las Vegas.