Vacation Optimizer T-Shirts

Airport Security. It takes longer getting through security, but by wearing all my clothes, I don't have to pay to check a bag!

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Travelogue

A holiday at home

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Canada's winter survival kit.

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'