Vacation Joker Pillows

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'I don't need a menu... just get me some tap water, some unwashed salad and the remains of that fly covered dish.'

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

No petting in the pool!

Tourism in Cuba without Castro.

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

"When you said you were bringing back a souvenir from your trip. . . I thought you meant a MUG!"

"That'll beat the hayfever but it may affect your all-over tan."

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"It's my helper trout!"

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

Distance to horizon varies.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Desert Roundabout

'I keep telling myself that this is better than a crowded beach in Spain...'

"It's kind of hard to know where these photos were taken: The backgrounds are very similar..."

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

Fishing for Supper

How do fish get to work?

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'Shall we dig him up, we haven't had an ice cream in over an hour?'

"Airbnb?"

Man comes through luggage collection conveyor belt at the airport.

'I've only packed essentials! CD player, hair dryer, eight new tops and a sun lamp.'

'Backseat driver...'

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."