Vacation Foodie Gifts

"Coming to the beach is a great way to stay in shape."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What the Doctor Ordered

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

6 Brothers Falafel

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"You owe me five bucks."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'He made an excellent jelly.'