Urban Tale Teller T-Shirts

'I went to a real tough high school -- Our Junior Businessman club used to knock over liquor stores.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"Walt Disney on ice."

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

On day twenty nine, Dave decided that he would start to cut his way through the dense forest to find out more about the north side of the island.

Horror Stories.

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Early accounting scandals.

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Suburban Legend

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

Romulus and Remus

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'... But of course, if there's something more interesting outside.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

"No squirrel, but I found Jimmy Hoffa."

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

'Right lad. This is your first night on the beat. I want you to walk through the graveyard without whistling.'

Mega Construction Company: Paving Paradise and Putting Up Parking Lots for Over 50 Years. Deal with it.

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

Myths and Other Urban Legends

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

Santa 'Loverboy' Kong