Collecting Urban Tales T-Shirts

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

"Walt Disney on ice."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Suburban Legend

Romulus and Remus

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"You finished with your peanuts?"

'... But of course, if there's something more interesting outside.'

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"No squirrel, but I found Jimmy Hoffa."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Newton discovers surrealism

'Right lad. This is your first night on the beat. I want you to walk through the graveyard without whistling.'

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

"Back in my day there weren't any delivery trucks, distribution centers and fancy computers! We just hopped door-to-door until our feet bled!"

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

"The beginning of another urban legend."

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

"Getting back across the road is gonna be the hard part."

Abominable Snow Dog.

BIG HOOF

Tourists

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

"Still a freelance journalist?"

"She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture..."

I Spoke Out On The Issues - Please Help.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"