Urban Parenting Gifts

Mothers crossing the road with prams.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Wifi in Hell

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

No Immediate Danger

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Packed like sardines

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"He just said his first word!"

Is Driving Doomed?

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right