Urban Mythbuster Pillows

Many buildings don't have a thirteenth floor.

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

"I miscounted."

'No thanks, curiosity has already cost me 7 lives, and I'm not risking any more.'

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

"If only you knew. . ."

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

'In London Town the streets are paved with gold!'

Meter Maid

"It's good luck."

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

"I don't care what your friends say! This "nine lives" business is just an urban legend: think safety first!"

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

'That stuff about elves helping me is a lot of baloney. I have a research center in Silicon Valley and an electronics plant in New England.'

After the death of New York City, Zeus placed it in the heavens as a constellation.

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

'There's something I never do, now if I could just remember what it was.'

'What's the weather like in Australia?'

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

'Call yourself a lemming? Get that parachute off your back!'

"I'm just worried that I've let myself become a follower."

"You know, at any given moment, you're not more than 6 ft away from one of them."

'Don't distract me now: I have only a few seconds to text myself a reminder before I forget...'

"That's my new bill. Now here's the Jersey Devil with the details."

"Are you kidding? If these were really my own, they'd be sagging down to my navel by now!"

"Of course, the whole lemming suicides thing is a myth ? the reason for these deaths is that mass migrations can last many months and lemmings become too tired to avoid cliff edges. Except Derek, but he always was a miserable bastard."

'I sold all the bones to finance a Hollywood quasi-relgious cult.' Old Mother Hubbard and her son, L Ron.

"So Carruthers!...it wasn't a legend after all!"