Modern Mythbuster Pillows

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

Horse meat scandal.

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

"If only you knew. . ."

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

'And someone's been hacking into my online banking!'

"It's good luck."

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

'My former employer gave me a plus score in being merry.'

'That stuff about elves helping me is a lot of baloney. I have a research center in Silicon Valley and an electronics plant in New England.'

Who is the fairest of them all?

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

"So Carruthers!...it wasn't a legend after all!"

"Are you kidding? If these were really my own, they'd be sagging down to my navel by now!"

"That's my new bill. Now here's the Jersey Devil with the details."

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

'I sold all the bones to finance a Hollywood quasi-relgious cult.' Old Mother Hubbard and her son, L Ron.

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