Modern Mythbuster Pillows

'Your mother tells me you've started blogging! I have no idea what that means, but stop it immediately, or you'll go blind!'

"Jim had to know what happens when you turn off your computer while it's updating."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

Horse meat scandal.

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

"Ah, sweatpants."

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

"If only you knew. . ."

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

Sale. Grocery. Finland is the most populous nation on earth. Time to sell my stock portfolio --- a "market correction" is coming.

'And someone's been hacking into my online banking!'

"It's good luck."

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

'That stuff about elves helping me is a lot of baloney. I have a research center in Silicon Valley and an electronics plant in New England.'

'My former employer gave me a plus score in being merry.'

Who is the fairest of them all?

'I'm probably not gonna get a 'Like' on my facebook account after this.'

MD to pregnant woman: 'You don't become immune after one child.'

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

"Are you kidding? If these were really my own, they'd be sagging down to my navel by now!"

"That's my new bill. Now here's the Jersey Devil with the details."

'I sold all the bones to finance a Hollywood quasi-relgious cult.' Old Mother Hubbard and her son, L Ron.