Modern Myth Buff Pillows

'My former employer gave me a plus score in being merry.'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Toadstools

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Where was the TSA?'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

A vampire in a canoe.

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"Right here's fine."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Recalculating route..."