Urban Jokester Pillows

A widow waves at the hearse which is stuck in traffic.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

A crab with a utility knife claw

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

"You idiots … we lost!"

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

Whatcha doing, dad? I'm at work. Logging on. Tree's Tree Nursery.

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'