Upgrading Home Security T-Shirts

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

No Soliciting

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Mouse security camera.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'Your father installed a security system.'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'Hello, security.'

"My dad put in a new security system."

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

"Makes you feel kind of proud, doesn't it?"