Installing A Home Security System T-Shirts

'If even one speck of dirt touches the grid, the entire house is locked down for 72 hours. Pretty cool, huh?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

No Soliciting

The Not-So Smart Meter

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Automation of Security

Mouse security camera.

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'Your father installed a security system.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

'Hello, security.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!