New Home Security System T-Shirts

"My dad put in a new security system."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

No Soliciting

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Automation of Security

Mouse security camera.

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

The bulb family leaves for vacation

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

Cat reaching his paw into a mouse hole that is rigged with a guillotine; the mouse has many taxidermy cat paws displayed on his wall

'Your father installed a security system.'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'