Upcycle Aficionados Gifts

"He found some Martha Stewart magazines."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

Queen of Upcycling!

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"Hey! These are still good!!"

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

Burt was a true artist and conservationist. He recycled his beer cans...Making an ornate garden wall and rockery.

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

Recycling - Perfectly good bits you can't recycle or give away...

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

Must Adopt As A Pair.

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"I've upcycled your magazines into an ottoman."

'Gotta hang up now. My mom wants to recycle the phone.'

'Decorating on a shoestring'

"I made it from a lost space probe."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

"Armstrong, why do we have Fourth of July decorations up? It's months away." "Exactly." "A true patriot loves his country regardless of the date." "A true patriot celebrates the founding of our corporatocracy every single day of the year, minion." "Some of the decorations are smeared with coffee grounds and banana peels." "A true patriot knows that one cafe's dumpster is another cafe's treasure."