Unsung Hero Gifts

Forty years in the City and never once was I headhunted.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"He was a very good boy."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Planting veggies

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

'Since you conduct only thought experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought results.'

'We're a voluntary organisation John, they're not meant to pay for it.'

Denmark: Begging is against the law!

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

Frontex

"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."

Superman's laundry

The briefs on the outside? Actually it started by accident when I used to change in phone booths.

'I'm sorry. It appears Mr. Mitchell won't be accepting any more information today.'

"I guess the tomatoes were just a gateway plant."

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

Dove with its wings tied

'...and I share my prize with the maintenance dept. who have worked tirelessly to keep the clean room perfectly immaculate.'

"Honey, I have to go to the Moria refugee camp. I'll be back soon, the work there will practically take cake of itself."

'The salad bar's coming in early this year!!'

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

US Asylum

"You monster!"

"If you don't have time to take care of everything, Sir, Mom's vegetable garden would be a good thing to let go."

"You said gardening would be duck soup. This is vegetable soup."

'Tell me. Did the 253 internships come before or after the Ph.D in English?'

'Why Mr. Root, I had no idea you were not happy with your work here at crisis services!'

'Bill got sacked, sleeps on a park bend and eats dog food. He's the most motivational speaker we've ever had.'