Unqualified Scientist Humor Pillows

Now Hiring. Apparently you need a college degree. It's not enough that I've spent years just staring off into space.

Albert Einstein

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Schrodinger's Black Box

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

The new Physics

Flan-eating bacteria

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Evolution...the wifi rhino.