University Wag Gifts

The university is naming a chair for me - in the lounge.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Good boy

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

"You destination is around the next curve."

"I want to be a footballer's wife."

We, the jury, spy, with our little eye, someone

"Yale mom. Yale grandpa. Yale estranged creepy uncle."

'I just can't take the eraser bits, the spit balls and the insults anymore!'

Cat wins lottery and vows to carry on working.

'I hate harmonica music.'

"I got it from the phys ed teacher. It's a wonderful teaching tool."

"Got to go. I think my phone is dying."

OK Corral.

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'Yes, it is windy today, Mrs Jones - Haven't seen a wig flying around, have you?'

Last Parent Trying To Get Child Into College

'Your body building programme is giving you that oven ready look!'

The meaning of life.

"No thanks. I quit smoking 55 pounds ago."

'And now a message from Indiana University President Myles Brand.'

Penn State Scandal: In the Cooker.

"Why are you walking my wig ?"

"He thought the world of that dog."